so people, take time to just stop what you're doing at look around you. you might be surprised just by the littlest of things that make you smile :)
random musings
Saturday, November 22, 2008 9:25 PM
i figured instead of listing things i want to be, i should list things i don't wanna be. see, be the change you want to see in the world. doesn't it make sense? identify the negative or what's wrong, and change turn it around.
good stuff huh? so there, shine your light and let the whole world see....Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.-- Marianne Williamson, Return to Love
recently
Friday, November 21, 2008 7:27 AM
i feel the need to acknowledge the moment... what moment? i really have no idea but, i just felt i needed to say that. so anyway, once again, ibook is rehab and abi is using andrea's ibook. margy flew off today, 10 weeks, she was pretty emo about it and jie was being mean and told her we were all going to play ball and not send her off.
paragraphs.
so, i sprained my ankle again today. my ankle "spoil" already la, at the rate its going. seriously.
i can't wait for the holidays, i need a long break. to recover. i need to clear my mind. i need to rid myself of all the anger, annoyance and fake-ness (if there is such a thing). i want to be fresh, i want to be renewed, i want to be me. i've got about 1 month and a day till then.
lately, i've been thinking. and i think i'm back there again. where i can't figure where i stand. am i out of my mind, am i just out looking for trouble, or am i just stupid. i can't seriously believe that i'm doing this again. what have i done? what have you done abi?
i just realised how much time i've been spending with the NUS team. today i was on the bus with brandon and i realised that i see everyone of them at least twice a week. some even 5 or 6 times a week. brandon actually understood my mime without even trying. winner. hahaha!
the only reason i'm still here is cos i'm icing my ankle. i shall wait for cinderella hour and i'm going to sleep. meanwhile, i'm going to try to beat wordchallenge on facebook. hahah!
paragraphs.
so, i sprained my ankle again today. my ankle "spoil" already la, at the rate its going. seriously.
i can't wait for the holidays, i need a long break. to recover. i need to clear my mind. i need to rid myself of all the anger, annoyance and fake-ness (if there is such a thing). i want to be fresh, i want to be renewed, i want to be me. i've got about 1 month and a day till then.
lately, i've been thinking. and i think i'm back there again. where i can't figure where i stand. am i out of my mind, am i just out looking for trouble, or am i just stupid. i can't seriously believe that i'm doing this again. what have i done? what have you done abi?
i just realised how much time i've been spending with the NUS team. today i was on the bus with brandon and i realised that i see everyone of them at least twice a week. some even 5 or 6 times a week. brandon actually understood my mime without even trying. winner. hahaha!
the only reason i'm still here is cos i'm icing my ankle. i shall wait for cinderella hour and i'm going to sleep. meanwhile, i'm going to try to beat wordchallenge on facebook. hahah!
where do we go from here
Monday, November 17, 2008 7:09 AM
i've been hooked to brooke fraser's shadowfeet. i love the lyrics.
Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
toward home, a land that i've never seen
I am changing, less and less asleep
made of different stuff than when i began
and i have sensed it all along
fast approaching is the day
when the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
when the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you
Theres distraction buzzing in my head
saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
but I've heard rumours of true reality
whispers of a well-lit way
You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things
You make all things
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you
yesterday, margy and i were reminiscing on lifehouse and i just felt like listening to the new single "from where you are" and there was this line in the chorus which said "and i miss all the little things, i never thought they'd mean everything to me". it just reminds me of how we so often let those little things slip by without appreciating them. and when they pass and are gone, we forget them. and one day, these memories get awakened, and we wish we can be in that moment again. once too often, we find ourselves in that place. i wonder what will it take for us to get over our complacent nature and learn to treasure every waking moment.
well, i'm pretty gone. cos i've put myself in this place again. i'm never going to live this down if anyone finds out. if i'm emo-ing, this is why. if i'm being, weird this is why. if i'm easily annoyed, this is why. if i'm insane, this is why. so don't ask me what, i'm gonna be talking to myself about this tonight. yes, i talk to myself when i'm emo.
i miss mugging. i miss project datelines. i miss school. i miss the stupid crazy we do in moments on temporary insanity. i miss laughing uncontrollably for no reason what-so-ever. i miss people and i miss someone. when will i get this life back?
everyday i go and i plaster a fake smile on my face. i feign interest. i tolerate. i wear a mask, and i want to tear it off.
smile, and the world smiles with you
Wednesday, November 12, 2008 6:51 AM
God works in mysterious ways and today is just one of those days i'm in awe and wonder.
Little joys in life and little things that make you smile.
Just these little things that we often neglect, that we forget to appreciate.
Oh, i'm just being really bright and shiny now.
you see, i've been considering what am i going to do with the rest of my life and i've chanced upon something i think i might actually love. i'm thinking of signing-on to SCDF as a paramedic. funny thing is that i've been sorta asking God about it and i've only told a few people. Jie, steph, poks, mich. so last thursday after training, shumin and i were waiting for them all to fix their foot pumps. so we were just talking and all, and shumin all of a sudden pops this question. "abi, would you rather be a doctor or paramedic?" and i'm like, wow, how did you know i was considering being a paramedic. so yes God works in mysterious ways.
it's all about them words
Sunday, November 9, 2008 4:47 AM
me: i may have a surprise for you tmr. MAY only, i can't guarantee it
A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better
But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
mich: why may? haha. has it been eaten yet?
me: if my siblings finish it, i can't bring any. haha! HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS EDIBLE?!
2 words mich - ORIGINAL GLAZED
mich: KRISPY KREME!
hahahaha. our convos are sometimes hilarious.
so today marked another milestone in my kayaking journey. i completed the round ubin kayak race in a T2 with sarah. it was a long treacherous journey, big waves, bigger boats, other competitors, not very effective marshaling and of cos, our own inexperience. it was quite fun though, all that wave riding and rowing trying to figure out how long more we had. it was funny cos we were kinda bickering about how long more we had and we decided to ask these people who were stationed around how long more we had to go. then they started saying we're finishing soon blah blah blah and we were like... yar right, dun believe you. hahahahah but we turned around the bend and we saw frog island! we were so excited, i got high and we got this sudden burst of energy. here's the best part, we finished the race (plus a rescue) in a grand total of 2hours and 25 mins! though, we made a mistake in stopping to rescue whoever we rescued. i must say though, very rewarding experience despite the muscles aches i'm gonna get tmr.
so after the race, we all got a real kick out of 2 things. firstly, this guy, not to be named, came over to were irene, andrea, steph, sarah and i were chilling mumbled this "you shitted just now". we obviously knew he was talking about something during the race so i was like WHAT?!?!?!? i DID NOT shit. he said it 4 times before poks who came along somewhere 3 secs into the convo figured he was saying "you cheated just now". we all got such a huge laugh out of it. and then came the prize presentation. the mc had really bad diction and couldn't really speak english well. it was funny at first... seriously names were mispronounced, champions became shampans, you get the gist. pretty hilarious. poks was SOOOOOOO tickled by it. extremely tickled. oh yes, by the way, NUS was the overall champ for senior cat. and when they gave out the prize for that poks went up wiithout xintian and she rushed up after him and poks didn't know she was there and then it was a really embarrassing situation for xintian cos she was totally excluded by poks in the prize presentation cos "she's so short, if she taller than maybe i can see her mah" in poks' words.
all the wats not and everything over, we moved the boats back to mac and all and we went for ice-cream at island creamery! we were like how rowdy and noisy. but we had lots of laughs and fun and photos, wenyang has proof of it. most of our brains were on minimal function mode so it was damn funny. the weird things we did too and said. downright hilarious. hahahah. the feast we had. gosh, i didn't know 20k could make me that hungry. and gosh, after i reached home i still had dinner. can you believe it? i can't.
that's pretty much my day in that few paragraphs. next up - NKM maybe?
whatever it takes
Friday, November 7, 2008 7:45 AM
A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better
But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
early sunday morning
Sunday, November 2, 2008 6:23 AM
this morning i was politely awakened by the warmth of sunlight on my face. here's what i saw...
new lens abi, need a new lens. and stupid HDB flat were blocking my full view of the sky. what a pity. i'll need that lens by church camp cos the brochures have fantastic pictures and i wanna do more light painting! not that light painting requires a lens other than the kit lens but you get the idea.
so round ubin is next week. today sarah & i again was not successful in completing the full milage cos we are hopefully directionless. but poks did help us out toward the end with our direction which was quite enlightening. hopefully, this will actually work us, cos if it does not work, it's gonna be crazy next week. we need more motivation to finish that 22km. we have plans for our little picnic in that T2. 100plus in 3litre water bags and lots of fruittips and gummy bears. hmmmm....
anyway, i want to go back to school! now i start the whining, and you stop the reading. so let's just stop here.