my family - although they can be annoying sometimes, and i know that i annoy them sometimes. still thankful for them, cos someone once told me, they'd be the ones to stand by you no matter what. true enough.
friends at BMI - made 8 hrs of my day less boring. esp mich, erica and berno. i'm gonna miss you guys around....
canoeing peeps - gosh, you guys are one helluva bunch. to think that i spend almost every morning, with an exception of saturdays and maybe one weekday, with you guys. it's a pleasure knowing you guys. i'm so thankful that sarah dragged me down to mac one early morning to try float myself in that orange tiger... from then on, there's no turning back. thanks for your generosity and for taking us in. *awwwww*
church friends - what would i do without you guys, church camp was a blast. just like old days (almost).
poly friends - cranium buddies! seirously, what can seperate us? we have endured 3 yrs of mass comm together!
friends at BMI - made 8 hrs of my day less boring. esp mich, erica and berno. i'm gonna miss you guys around....
canoeing peeps - gosh, you guys are one helluva bunch. to think that i spend almost every morning, with an exception of saturdays and maybe one weekday, with you guys. it's a pleasure knowing you guys. i'm so thankful that sarah dragged me down to mac one early morning to try float myself in that orange tiger... from then on, there's no turning back. thanks for your generosity and for taking us in. *awwwww*
church friends - what would i do without you guys, church camp was a blast. just like old days (almost).
poly friends - cranium buddies! seirously, what can seperate us? we have endured 3 yrs of mass comm together!
jo, pk, von - i know we have such seperate lives. we hardly get together. but come on, you guys are the ones i can count on if i need anything :)
i mean there's so much else to be grateful for, but well, if i were to list all of it... you'd never hear the end.
i was just being all nostalgic that day and i remembered sarah grace, anna and i once wrote wills. its really hilarious. like i bequeath my this and that to so and so. but it actually tells us how much certain people mean to us. it's really funny. i remember listing really small stuff like.... my phone, my magazine collection... hahahha! downright hilarious. maybe i should recreate it one day. hahahah. i'm already thinking of a few people who could seriously benefit from my death.
so on a heavier note. i hate secrets. i sincerely do. maybe that's why i'm one who hardly keep secrets except for those that i've been entrusted with. but secrets cause heavy hearts and they bug me. maybe cos i'm a "have to know it all" person. it totally bugs me when someone keeps something from me.
i just was thinking and maybe we can't fix everything. maybe, sometimes, we just have to let people make their own mistakes and learn from them, no matter how much heartbreak is involved. but i just can't help it, it's just so sad thinking of possible consequences. heartbreak... sigh.
eyes half open
Tuesday, December 23, 2008 8:44 AM
i'm like how stoned now. sucks to be sick when you're going on holiday and sucks to be stood up for the first time in my entire life. thanks sarah for the experience (note the sarcasm).
so how stoned am i? this is what happened on the way back. anna and i saw a few stc people and this is what happened...
me: you know one of 2 things happen when you leave secondary school.
anna: what...
me: well, you either change damn alot, or you stay exactly the same.
and i realised how stupid or dumb it sounds. it was like as if i had some incredible insight to some rite of passage. that's how stoned i am.
my ass hurts and my back muscles are so tight. i need a massage.
suckered
Sunday, December 21, 2008 7:28 AM
suckered again.
tall, dark, brooding and handsome.
this is a disaster.
i watched twilight. and the main character edward cullen is how hot. i mean he's not like damn good looking but his character is hot.
like i said... tall, dark, brooding and handsome.
goner.
i am so psyched
Friday, December 19, 2008 7:15 AM
you know. okay you don't know. but yeah, you know. okay this is never going to end i should just get on with it already.
i'm probably going to be working from home starting jan 09 to end feb 09. that's really really awesome. i work better on my own time, i'm more efficient, and less irritable. at the same time, it's gonna be a recovery time for me. resting enough, catching up with people (reminds me i need to cancel that cali membership i have it's been sitting there collecting dust). okay that's not the point. so yeap, i'm pretty psyched about it cos i miss the flexibility of freelancing and all and its much like a breather, giving me time to sort out my head and all (yes, i'm pretty weird, michelle definitely concurs with that conclusion).
i also pretty screwed, cos i sorta got myself into this place, somewhere in between. what is real? i'm coming up with all alternatives, trying to hold on to reality, be a better person. and just walk away. be a better person. all these things happening around me, i just can't help it. as much as i'm a fan of spontaneity, i do like to have some control over certain things. why is this happening to me, i just wanna be 2 again. see, kids just reminds me of all the innocence, times when responsibility does not fall on your shoulders, times when life is just uncomplicated.
just uncomplicate things, untangle yourself from this web of confusion. breathe, and everything will be alright. if only it were that easy. sometimes bending the space time continuum seems oh so lucrative. then you can jump forward in time, see what happens and dodge all bullets and the hard curve balls that life throws at you. then again, you might not be the same person. cos we're made of experiences right. oh wells.
i need to stay focused. i need to stay unbiased. i need to crank up the logic dial.
edit-
you know that feeling when you don't wanna admit something. cos the moment you admit it, it becomes real, and once it becomes real, the pain begins?
i'm probably going to be working from home starting jan 09 to end feb 09. that's really really awesome. i work better on my own time, i'm more efficient, and less irritable. at the same time, it's gonna be a recovery time for me. resting enough, catching up with people (reminds me i need to cancel that cali membership i have it's been sitting there collecting dust). okay that's not the point. so yeap, i'm pretty psyched about it cos i miss the flexibility of freelancing and all and its much like a breather, giving me time to sort out my head and all (yes, i'm pretty weird, michelle definitely concurs with that conclusion).
i also pretty screwed, cos i sorta got myself into this place, somewhere in between. what is real? i'm coming up with all alternatives, trying to hold on to reality, be a better person. and just walk away. be a better person. all these things happening around me, i just can't help it. as much as i'm a fan of spontaneity, i do like to have some control over certain things. why is this happening to me, i just wanna be 2 again. see, kids just reminds me of all the innocence, times when responsibility does not fall on your shoulders, times when life is just uncomplicated.
just uncomplicate things, untangle yourself from this web of confusion. breathe, and everything will be alright. if only it were that easy. sometimes bending the space time continuum seems oh so lucrative. then you can jump forward in time, see what happens and dodge all bullets and the hard curve balls that life throws at you. then again, you might not be the same person. cos we're made of experiences right. oh wells.
i need to stay focused. i need to stay unbiased. i need to crank up the logic dial.
edit-
you know that feeling when you don't wanna admit something. cos the moment you admit it, it becomes real, and once it becomes real, the pain begins?
oh so wise words
Tuesday, December 16, 2008 9:33 PM
i finally caught up on prison break, i still have heroes and criminal minds to catch up on. of cos we've been neglecting these shows in view of bones season 3 DVD boxset arriving. lol! so yeah i was watching prison break any t-bag's like the bad guy... but no matter how much you wanna hate him... you can't. cos he's just this guy who's so real in all ways. twisted, yes, but real. great acting by him i would say.... so here's one of the lines he had...
We are captives of our own identities, living in prisons of our own creations.and i was like WOW. haven't heard such a good line before. t-bag was just contemplating how a label of a person (e.g. convict, agent, blue collar worker, salesman etc.) can so easily define who you are. no matter what you are going to do, it doesn't matter, cos your past comes back and defines who you are. it's a tragic reality.
so then - what do we do, caught in our own shadows, caught in our past? how do we move past that, those mistakes, those regrets? where do we go from here?
a lil' sleep...
Sunday, December 14, 2008 5:01 AM
cinnamon rolls, strawberry jelly cheesecake and strawberry chocolate tart. the 3 culprits of my sleep deprived saturday night and joseph goh's expanding tum tum. well, but i think the sleep loss was worth it. haha, you should have seen how the stuff, especially the cheesecake, made people light up. making people happy with food makes me happy in some weird way. it's the satisfaction maybe... i don't know whatever it is... my brain function is what i wold describe as minimal right now.
i think i shall just go pack my stuff and go sleep again. sounds pretty good to me. okay that's what i'm going to do now.
1 step closer to the brink
Friday, December 12, 2008 10:36 PM
i'm really feeling oh so emo now. let me recount how bright and shiny has led to dark and emo.
yesterday, no training in the morning due to SEACC. so i stayed home and watched bones! :) bones is not emo at all.... makes me all so happy. i was laughing so hard at the jokes and hidden humor. so that was how my day started with laughs. and then on the train to work i started reading chris' book "the way i was made". he has a way with words, very engaging book, funny with little surprise nuggets here and there, and of cos, very personal and makes you feel motivated. wanting to just hope on that journey of worship and abandon it all. work went all right. the usual stuff. then i received news of the results down at SEACC which were pretty good... and later on found out that K4 senior womens won a gold.
so, as you can see, so far so good. it doesn't go sour yet.
went down to NUS to join them for a core session. it was very interesting. some exercises were challenging, and i never knew just simple exercises like that could work you hard. (according to irene, the core trainer let us off REAL EASY yesterday but i'm still aching at my abs... i'm how weak?)... this is where my story takes a turn...
andrea ditched me and went to have dinner with her core people and irene, and left me with the task of breaking the news to my mom. great. so there i was pretty annoyed. so i had time to take a chill pill but when i thought it was going okay, i reached home to find that my brilliant brother (note the sarcasm) took my DSLR without my permission with him to bangkok on holiday. firstly, the volatile situation in bangkok is not very comforting. secondly, my camera is not insured yet. thirdly and most importantly, i wanted my camera for the weekend, for obvious reasons like SEACC. i was fuming. seriously fuming, to the point of tears, fuming. after that i had a hard time falling asleep but eventually managed to put myself to sleep with some music.
so, the whole time this morning at mac watching SEACC all i was thinking of was my camera. and i am still thinking of my camera. so i'm pissed and emo. i need happy food. i need happy company. someone, make me happy please?
twenty
Tuesday, December 9, 2008 6:29 AM
let's have a run down of what has happened so far...
1. i ran my second stand chart race over the weekend. 10km in a new and improved timing of 65mins. (and without training for it)
2. we're planning the full marathon next year. (mainly just for the finisher's tee)
3. today was mich's last teaching day at work.
4. its only about 2 weeks to church camp, or less.
5. it's only about 3 weeks to the new year, or more.
6. i'm really annoyed about something that happened in the office today. it was totally ridiculous.
7. we got bones season 3!!!!!!! thanks to dear uncle ian :)
8. i was wondering if joel would sound different with all that facial hair.
9. i really feel like having PPC.
10. if anyone is contemplating a birthday gift. my wishlist/DVD boxset collection list in the side bar pretty much says it all. and yes, thanks in advance. (oh yes, if you're getting me anything on my list... please let me know so i can strike it off)
11. i think this list is getting a little long. but it helps making my random thoughts sound not so random. if you get what i mean.
12. oh we went to meet pearl at the airport before she flew off. had a pretty fun time, i like cousins. hhahah!
13. i actually planned to go to sleep by 10 today. look at where that plan has brought me.
14. woah-oh-oh, beer be the solution!
15. i'm gonna start on chris' book "the way i was made"
16. i just found out today that mich dog ears her books.
17. i'm continuing this list so that it gets to a round nice number like 20.
18. i haven't watched a movie in like ten years. okay, really, in like almost 3 months.
19. i need to cancel my oh so prestigious gym membership with cali that has been sucking my money for the last 10months.
20. i think its time to go to sleep. byees.
TNV - The Nord Version
Monday, December 1, 2008 7:16 AM
remember awhile back when we came up with the CMV of the bible. ladies and gentlemen today i present to you the TNV.
Deuteronomy 6:4-5Hear, O People! The Nord is our Nord, the Nord is one! You shall love the Nord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
Haha! mich and i got such a big kick out of this i burst out into laughter that echoed for a few seconds. how we came to this was.... mich was listening to Niacin in office.... he's an amazing organ player, very funky cool stuff... so i stepped out of office and i went "ONE ORGAN...." which evovled to "ONE NORD"... and then you know the rest.
so here's the others we came up with...
Psalms 23:1The Nord is my organ, I shall not want.
Isaiah 42:8So there... i can churn up many more... but this might really get out of hand... so i shall not go further. lol! I have a new item for my wishlist now... who wants to get abi a Nord Stage? utter madness. hahahah! if i could, i'd sell the upright piano i have at home... and get a Nord. hmmmmm, that's a thought. that's if my parents permit me to do so... lol!
I am the Nord, that is my name! I will not give my glory to another, nor praise to idols.
so, this weekend has been pretty crazy... pearl's birthday on sat and mich's little thing on sun. i have not uploaded last week's chalet photos and i have photos from yesterday. man... that's a lot of uploading to do when lappy gets discharged from hospital tomorrow!!!! should i get lappy a new friend to cope with all the stuff i'm going to do with it? like maybe a 500GB or 1TB external hardisk? hmmmmm.....
anyway, i'm counting down the days to 23rd dec... 22 days to go!!!!!!