i'm probably going to be working from home starting jan 09 to end feb 09. that's really really awesome. i work better on my own time, i'm more efficient, and less irritable. at the same time, it's gonna be a recovery time for me. resting enough, catching up with people (reminds me i need to cancel that cali membership i have it's been sitting there collecting dust). okay that's not the point. so yeap, i'm pretty psyched about it cos i miss the flexibility of freelancing and all and its much like a breather, giving me time to sort out my head and all (yes, i'm pretty weird, michelle definitely concurs with that conclusion).
i also pretty screwed, cos i sorta got myself into this place, somewhere in between. what is real? i'm coming up with all alternatives, trying to hold on to reality, be a better person. and just walk away. be a better person. all these things happening around me, i just can't help it. as much as i'm a fan of spontaneity, i do like to have some control over certain things. why is this happening to me, i just wanna be 2 again. see, kids just reminds me of all the innocence, times when responsibility does not fall on your shoulders, times when life is just uncomplicated.
just uncomplicate things, untangle yourself from this web of confusion. breathe, and everything will be alright. if only it were that easy. sometimes bending the space time continuum seems oh so lucrative. then you can jump forward in time, see what happens and dodge all bullets and the hard curve balls that life throws at you. then again, you might not be the same person. cos we're made of experiences right. oh wells.
i need to stay focused. i need to stay unbiased. i need to crank up the logic dial.
edit-
you know that feeling when you don't wanna admit something. cos the moment you admit it, it becomes real, and once it becomes real, the pain begins?